The day I realized something was different

 I wish I could say I caught on early that something was off. But I had been programmed by my teachers, TV, magazines, other woman, the health system, doctors, friends and even my mom; that period pain was normal. That MY period pain was normal.

I remember the day clearly, when I finally realized that something was off. I was in college. Sitting in class listening to a teachers lecture about something. I probably wasn’t paying attention if I’m being honest. Out of nowhere, I felt as if someone had poured hot acid on the left side of my pelvis then took a knife, stabbed me and twisted. I swear I saw white flashes and stars.

The pain was so intense and in such a specific area, my immediate thought was my appendix burst. Then I remembered that my appendix is on the right side, not the left. 

Somehow I carried myself to a couch that was in the hallway of the school. I curled up in a ball and hid my face in my backpack as if I was sleeping. And I cried. I sobbed from the pain. I had never experienced anything like it before.

I missed the rest of my class, as well as my following class because I couldn’t stand. I was dizzy and exhausted. The pain was so intense. It burned! You know acid bubbles? I swear I had acid bubbles popping inside me. Sharp pain then aching throbbing pain, then back to sharp severe pain. It was exhausting. I was stuck between wanting to sleep and pain. I’m pretty sure I actually fell asleep at one point. Fortunately, on college campuses it is not unusual to see students sleeping in random areas between classes.

When I was finally able to get myself to my car, I drove straight to the hospital. Certain they would help me. Little did I know, this would be the beginning of a lot of hospital visits with no help. 

I sat in the waiting room, hunched over my chair, deep breathing so that I wouldn’t cry. Trying not to draw attention to myself.  I finally got a spot in emergency, where I waited another 3 hours for a doctor to speak to me. In all fairness, he was a very nice doctor. He seemed concerned that I was in so much pain. I told him my symptoms, he pressed my stomach, did blood work and a urine sample. His conclusion, I was about to get my period and had an extremely intense bad cramp and was possibly constipated. He gave me tylenol and a laxative and sent me home.

I went home. I took the laxative and some advil. I drank enough water to fill a pool. I tried to go the bathroom. I went the bathroom, which provided no relief. I spent the next day and a bit in my bed, curled up in the fetal position crying. I missed my classes. The world wasn’t going to stop for me. I put a heating pad on my stomach. I massaged my stomach. I drank prune juice. I tried everything I could think of. Nothing helped. I cried. I googled for hours trying to find any type of answers or support. There was nothing or limited information. I ended up scaring myself thinking it was cancer. 

Something was wrong. This definitely wasn’t normal. It was in such a specific location. It was too painful, this couldn’t be normal. No matter what the doctor just said to me, I knew this was more than my period.

I picked up the phone and called my family doctor to make an appointment. The first step, to a long, exhausting and frustrating journey of getting my answers.